Garbage Bread

At a 5-year-old birthday party this weekend, I watched the helper of our host pick up leaves of lettuce one by one with a fork to put them in a storage bag while cleaning up. Out of all of the things that could have caught my attention at a 5-year-old birthday party (like the “wild animal nature” that comes alive when a piñata opens up and the candy spills onto the floor, it’s pure raw fend for yourself – take no prisoners behavior) I was struck by her gracious behavior and wondered if I would have the couth to do that. It was very time-consuming and I pictured myself washing my hands and then grabbing it by the bunches. Would that be construed as “yucky”?

It got me to wondering about my nature. When push comes to shove, do I have any couth?

At the grocery store I had purchased some rolls and fun bread (fun bread is not the normal healthy wheat bread I force us to eat daily) and I was looking forward to the sandwiches that I had planned to go with those white foods.

When it came time to make those sandwiches, I could not find the bread anywhere.


As the weather turns colder, I look forward to using some shelves (and often other flat surfaces) in my garage as a cool and cold place to keep foods and drinks. I had done this with my bread, or so I thought.

In and out of the garage I went, looking for the bread. I spend an awful large quantity of time in a mental fog because of my parenting status and I searched in many places that I may have left the bread. I wasn’t even sure that I had not already picked up the bread and just put it down somewhere odd in my mental fog.

As it usually does, the mental fog eventually cleared enough for me to have a thought (probably from all the wind surrounding me as I walked in and out of the house).

Since it had been wrapped up in a grocery bag I thought that it just may have found its way to our garbage bin. That’s what cat poop and baby diapers get disposed into naturally.

It did. I grabbed it out and spent some mental energy contemplating the “5 second rule” for wrapped food in the garbage. I had never heard about that rule.

Since it was double wrapped and sitting on top I figured I was safe. These were great rolls and bread after all.


Then I texted my husband to see if it was he or me who tossed our great breads. I won’t tell…

But we had a good laugh – and a good sandwich.

It also gave me my answer on whether I have couth or not.

I’m thinking “not”.

I know that you cannot wait for an invite to eat at my house now, with garbage bread and handled leafy greens on the menu.



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